Consent is not the absence of a "no," it is the presence of an enthusiastic "yes"

Consent is given without pressure, manipulation, violence, intimidation, or other means of coercion. 

Some argue that consent under the influence of drugs or alcohol should not be considered "freely given."

Founder's POV: There are certainly times when consent under the influence of drugs or alcohol cannot be given, but from my experience, it is not uncommon for adults to freely, legally give consent under the influence of alcohol, for example, as long as there is still capacity to consent -- i.e. all parties are awake and competent enough understand what's happening as well as the good or bad consequences.

Consent on one date does not imply consent on all dates. Likewise, consent at 6 p.m. does not imply consent at 9 p.m. And most importantly, consent within the same interaction can and should be reversed if one party feels uncomfortable with the pace, method, communication, or some other aspect of that sexual activity.

Consent should always be reversible before a sexual activity. However, consent cannot be removed after a consensual activity ended.

Founder's POV: For the sake of accuracy, I will note that "reversible" is not true in all places. For example, in some places, consent is considered always implied within marriages, so it cannot legally be "reversed". However, most countries today acknowledge sexual autonomy, even within marriage.

All parties of a sexual activity must be fully aware of what they are consenting to. This includes having necessary information and understanding the potential consequences. If one party hides important and relevant information in order to receive a "yes" for sex, that is not allowing informed consent. 

Founders POV: For context, this presents itself in the real world through examples like intentionally deceiving a sexual partner about one's sexual organs or intentionally hiding an STD in order to get a potential sexual partner to agree to sex. 

It is worth noting that not all countries acknowledge the need for informed consent.

Like the quote at the top of the page, a lack of "no" doesn't imply "yes." There are many reasons someone who doesn't want to have sex may not say "no," and a lot of those reasons stem from fear. Instead of saying, "no", that person may try to appease their partner so they can remain physically safe, subtly exit the interaction, or even freeze in place. For these reasons, enthusiasm is more important than it sounds. 

If one party assumes the other's consent is there, it just isn't enthusiastic, but the other party did not consent at all, there is a tramautic situation brewing that could be avoided with more communication.

Founder's POV: If you aren't sure, there is nothing wrong with verbally (out loud!) asking if a partner consents to sex. There are truly few downsides. Logic this one out with me: 

- If you ask out loud, a person that wants to have sex with you is probably not going to change their mind just because you asked more clearly. 

- If you ask out loud, a person who wants to have sex with you but is nervous or shy may feel comforted by your thoughtfulness.

- If you ask out loud, a person who does not want to have sex at that time will be assured that you care about them and respect their boundaries.

Founder's POV Cont:

(This is the important part.)

-- If you don't want to ask out loud because you don't want to look "lame" or inexperienced, that can be easily solved and forgotten with a little self-confidence practice.

-- If you don't want to ask out loud because you're afraid the answer will be "no," you need to take some time and consider why you'd pursue sex with someone who may not want to do it. If you're still not sure why you'd pursue it, just focus your own enjoyment for a moment: is unwanted sex really better than no sex? What I mean is: is sex truly enjoyable if you're the only person who is into it?

-- If you don't want to ask out loud because you'd rather feign ignorance than know explicitly that your partner doesn't want to have sex with you, this is also something worth seriously reflecting on. Setting aside the potential long-term impact on your partner, consider something else: is your short-term enjoyment more important than your partner's basic sense of comfort and safety?

 Consent for a sexual activity doesn't imply consent for all types of sexual activity. Consent is usually implied to be for a specific type or set of activities. It's worth communicating more if you'd like the sexual activity to move beyond those general bounds.

Founder's POV: In the real world, this can be something like consenting to vaginal sex with a partner but not anal sex, or consenting to BDSM but not certain aspects of it. 

Communicating early and well is the key to everyone enjoying a sexual experience!